Trust and Safety in Public Education

I know my children are not unique in this, but trying to get them out the door in the morning is almost impossible. On school days they always have four more things they desperately need to do at the very last minute.

I'm lucky to have a team of people that helps us figure out getting the kids to extracurricular activities in the evenings after school because I work every weekday evening and my wife works several evenings a week. We have, I think, maybe 8 people now who are registered as approved pickups for our kids to make sure we can fill in the gaps for childcare.

The weekends are a similar, but different struggle. On days when we go to shabbat services or a bar mitzvah or have religious school at the synagogue, it's yet another struggle to convince them to put their shoes on and leave the house when they would like nothing more than to lounge on the couch all day long and stare at the TV.

We work through the struggle, though, because it's a value in our interfaith family: we go to synagogue to be around other Jewish families and support our children in developing their Jewish identity and learning about their history and culture. Judaism is a little bit different than many religions because it's not just a religion. It's also an ethnicity and an ancestry and a culture. The main focus of Sunday school is sharing cultural values and history and language and, most importantly, creating a Community. And it's particularly important that we do this on the weekends because during the week there are only five other Jewish children at our elementary school. My kids are excited to know they are not the only Jewish children in school, but they rarely see each other, since they're all in different grades.

Is it a struggle to get everyone to Sunday school? Absolutely. But it is a value in my family and we do it together. And I see everyday what my children are learning. 

People say opposition to Release Time for Religious Instruction (RTRI) is anti-religion. I say religious instruction is something that happens in our families, especially when our children are in elementary school. That is not something I trust to anyone else. So even if a Jewish program offered to pick up our children from school and teach them during the school day, I would say no. I want to be part of it. It's for building Community, first and foremost. 

I have many feelings about a Christian Nationalist group picking up groups of children in the middle of the school day for offsite religious instruction, but the main thing I have to say is: this is not the time or the place. Yes, maybe it's hard to get the kids out of the house for services on the weekends when you've been working all week. I know I'm exhausted. But that doesn't mean that we cut into school time to make it happen. 

There are some times where it is important to collect my children during the school day for religious instruction. When the Jewish New Year happens on a school day, I give my children the option to go to services.. And I appreciate that I can sign my children out for a religious purpose without having to pretend they have a doctor's appointment. 

And I will fight for the rights of parents to continue having that freedom to share their beliefs with their children when religious events conflict with the school day, such as Ash Wednesday services or when sundown starts early during Ramadan. In countries around the world, it is not safe for all to openly practice their faith, so it is particularly important to me to ensure our refugees and immigrants understand it is absolutely OK to pick up your children for religious observance.

But having 50 children leaving school on a flashy bus wearing matching shirts on a regular basis as a weekly religious field trip is not the same as allowing families to teach their own children. It is allowing an outside organization to operate. We talk about religious freedom. Families have religious freedom. There is nothing stating that the school is required to let religious organizations collect children by the dozen during the school day. 

Unfortunately, from the outside it looks like the school has condoned this specific program. The only religious education program that has posted their brochures in the lobby, advertised on PeachJar (a school-district-wide electronic advertisement platform) specifically to Emerson families, and regularly parks their bright red shuttle in front of the school office on school days is a Christian nationalist group.

I have known of this organization from its beginnings because I was in close contact with one of the directors. As time goes on, I meet more and more parents who aren't even aware the program is operating. But then they are grateful that I've mentioned it when their child comes home and says "Hey, what's going on with the red shirts? Can I go??" Because otherwise it almost feels like a no-brainer: it's a special program that's free, off-campus, and is just character building - and it's non-denominational. (Although you're not actually allowed to teach or volunteer for them if you don't belong to a church that is in alignment with LifeWise's specific Orthodox Christian beliefs)

Kids are talking though. Teachers are told not to answer their questions. The principal has told the teachers to direct parents back to the principal. It feels like a veil of secrecy from the outside looking in.. And we have many scared families in our school community who are aware of how dangerous it can be to speak up or stand out right now.

As families, we trust that when our public elementary school gives us information that it's safe; that it's been vetted; that it's appropriate for our community. They don't tell us about movie nights for R-rated films or teenager summer programs; they put flyers in the lobby for utility assistance and family carnivals and free backpack and summer lunch programs. 

This fall, my kindergartner and I participated in a literacy program called PrimeTime that was a partnership between Emerson, the Imagine Children's museum and the Everett Public Library. And we received information about that in our backpacks and via PeachJar and in the lobby as well. It was after school, and it was incredible and several of the meetings were in the Emerson library. There have been many other programs similarly advertised such as Masked Reader and Literacy Night.  And, while I did ask a few questions and read all the materials they gave me, I didn't feel like I needed to do a lot of research to make sure that they were safe places for my family. 

But somehow this program, LifewIse, is using those same channels and that is not a safe place for my children who are part of a family with two moms; a family that is labeled as sinful and angering God by the curriculum taught by LifeWise. Are there families who are finding that out the hard way? Do children in this program feel safe enough to stand up and say they don't want to go? Because when I'm there for recess, I've heard several kids say the words "I don't want to go to Lifewise today" but they go anyway because they don't know they have a choice and because their parents aren't there to advocate for them. Because their parents are trusting that if this program is starting and ending at Emerson that it is safe. Because as parents we have seen how strong the Emerson Community is. We have seen that this is a safe place. We have read the email from Superintendent Saltzman that says ICE IS NOT WELCOME in the sanctuary of our school.

Speaking for myself: when I walk in the doors at Emerson and I see the warm welcome smile from our administrators and those first faces in the window of our incredible office staff, I know that I am welcome. And my children know that they are safe. And as a parent I know that there are so many doors of communication that can and will be used to communicate with me if there is any concern about my children. 

Why would we break that trust by allowing some outside organization that is not in alignment with the Everett school district's policies of inclusion to act as if it's condoned by the school?